For the River: Texas Hold 'Em

For the River: Texas Hold 'Em


So, there you are, perfect position, perfect cards, big stacks, life couldn't be brighter... so why are you watching a gut-shot-miracle-on-the-river-suck-out drag your chips to his now healthy stack?

What happened?

Well, when we reconstruct the hand from deal to the death of your big-stack delusions, there may be four or ten mistakes, or maybe the luck is with the Irish. Sometimes people's luck get in the way of your flawless strategy, then place you squarely on tilt and send you out on the bubble... It can change that fast, and we've seen it or had or provided the suffering, and each of us had the same question looming, "how did I get beet by a grunt like THAT? ".

Well? Was it being cute pre-flop with your pocket aces? Trying to get raised to trap your unsuspecting prey? Checking the Flop? Exaggerating the bet on the turn, just to watch your bait hook the whopper on the river, but you're the fish, cleaned and fried.

We have felt the rage and simultaneous curiosity. We have seen donkeys catch the only card in the solar system that could save what most would have torn up and thrown back within the dealer upon receipt of the 5-8 off suit, but not Dr. Donkey. He bets it with gusto and an annoying certainty that after a 6-9-2 flop, if that 7 doesn't come on the turn, you bet your kids tuition it'll be there promptly on the river. Skill will not beat that. Ever.

It's actually your fault for sitting in this long with the inferior player. You've heard of dumb luck? You know, the stuff everyone you go heads up with has, but you maybe had it once, many years ago in college, but it was just a phase...

There is really a formula to beat the Donkeys ass, it's just not an exact science. Basically, your nemesis is the hope of the hopeless. If that stiff catches a whiff of remote possibility, your chances of dragging the pot just diminished by 78 percent. (that figure isn't exact, unless you know the guy, or sweet elderly lady I'm describing).

There is an Ebb and Flow of the game that is subtle yet noticeable enough that when we are swimming in it, we are indestructible. We guess right, protect our stack and invest wisely when we splash in with the K-10 offsuit for some speculating and watch the nuts flop out ( that always makes me snicker, no matter how old I get. ) We become drunk with power and find ourselves pushing players off pots with very unimpressive hands that we are ashamed to show, yet do so with pride anyway. That's about the time you may as well get comfortable and wait for our position or premium hands to come back, if it ever does, because invariably, once we take a pot with 2-7 and show it, that typically will be the last time our mitts go past your beverage for a while.

This is usually where patience pays. Observe and find the flow, the patterns the tells, pick your shots, whom you shoot, and switch gears to the humble and magnanimous conqueror who can still threaten to bluff, or actually hit a rush again that at minimum should send half your table home, honored to have pushed their chips to you. It never ceases to amaze and inspire me to see how poker imitates life imitating art. There are people we enjoy losing to, as well as those we abhor winning against. When we know the Irish are showering us with opportunity and we require very little skill, we are embarrassed, grateful, and can make a few believe this is always how the cards fall for you. Be careful telling that lie. Your giving away information that will cost you. Charming as you may think yourself to be, remember most people don't enjoy losing at anything, in any game, at any time, so grace and humility go a long way in both victory and defeat. Salesmanship and gamesmanship. It's easy to see how the pro's sell eight pound books. There are nuances and facets that make the game become a living thing, and like all other residing things, we have love-hate relationships with it. So, the secret? You've already read how I took down two first and a second place finishes in a 36 hour stretch in Oklahoma. You've already seen your story, now play your game. YOUR GAME. There you have it. Since poker is a living thing, there is no one way to play. We simply must wait long enough, get fortunate enough, lie well enough, take advantage of the other players rotten run of rags, switch betting habits up, take small pots with those aces; it's waaaay better than having your good day turn ugly within the River.

Warren Willette plays poker. Sometimes better than others. There are no guarantees, and preceeding was intended more for entertainment than education. Education is what you get when you call with your 5-8 and miss your 7 on the river. Play responsibly and respectfully. Still want the secret to playing winning poker? It's at the table, waiting patiently.